Last week we had another embarrassing incident.
Of course, I was the source of the embarrassment, not Flossie.
I should probably say now that the incident concerns poo, but if you are a dog owner, you’ll probably take it in your stride.
Flossie is a creature of habit. She likes to do her morning ablution on a patch of grass alongside our local lane.
The other day we stopped as usual for her to perform. She prefers to take her time, going back and forth as she finds just the right spot. Sometimes, this takes a while, and I look slightly ridiculous as we do a kind of poo dance together until she settles on her final position.
As we were shuffling to and fro, I noticed a police car approaching slowly down the lane.
I don’t know why, but I always feel like a suspected criminal when I see anyone official. There is no logical reason for this but I decided I should be on my best behaviour.
As we were in the midst of dog fouling in a public place, I was keen to demonstrate that I am a responsible dog owner. So I made rather a lot of reaching into my pocket for a poo bag, opening it up flamboyantly so there could be no doubt that I was going to clean up after my canine companion.
With much bag flapping, I reached down and scooped up the poo, watching the police car as I did so, and feeling certain its occupants would consider me an exemplary citizen. I even felt a little triumphant.
Unfortunately, I was so busy looking at the car that somehow the poo toppled out of the bag. It broke into several segments and bounced off my jeans in its descent, leaving a troublesome brown mark before it scattered itself far and wide across the grass.
All attempts at being an upstanding member of the community had evaporated in seconds.
As published in the Bath Chronicle, 23 April 2026
Suzy Pope is a certified copywriter and newspaper columnist specialising in pets, business and lifestyle. If you would like help with a writing project, please get in touch.