Since Flossie’s major tooth extraction last month, I had assumed that her eating habits would become more refined.
I was wrong.
She’s certainly eating her food more carefully. I guess it takes time to sift it through the new gaps in her mouth.
But there’s nothing delicate about her ability to scoff unsavoury objects when we are out and about.
The other day, she managed to snaffle two tasty (to her) treats on one outing.
Her first find was crunchy. I didn’t realise she had picked anything up until I noticed she was chewing laboriously on something that was clearly giving her new mouth arrangement some trouble.
She persevered for a while, refusing to drop the coveted item. I had to give her ten out of ten for effort. Eventually, and to my relief, she gave up and dropped it.
It was the remains of a dead bird.
Her second treat was of the faecal variety. I’m not sure what type. I suspect it was another dog’s given that we were not far from home.
She snatched it off the grass before I could stop her. Maybe she thought she was doing her bit to help clean up the neighbourhood.
This was much easier to chew and in a couple of seconds, it was more or less gone.
She looked at me hopefully, expecting a treat.
There was no chance of that.
Besides, there was no way I was going to put my hand near her mouth until she’d had a good drink of water.
When we were almost home, a neighbour stopped to say hello.
As he bent down to stroke Flossie, I had to say something before he got a whiff of her poo-stinking mouth, so I told him she’d just eaten something disgusting.
As if to confirm it, Flossie did a rather fruity burp.
I think she does these things on purpose sometimes.
I laughed in embarrassment.
He did not think it was funny.
As published in the Bath Chronicle, 28 August 2025
Suzy Pope is a certified copywriter and newspaper columnist specialising in pets, business and lifestyle. If you would like help with a writing project, please get in touch.