Occasionally, nature calls, especially if you’re out and about for a long time.
It can be awkward and a certain etiquette is required if you see someone who has found themselves in this predicament.
Last week, we walked past a parked taxi. I didn’t pay much attention, but as we drew alongside, the taxi driver emerged from the bushes adjusting his trousers.
As he caught sight of me, he styled it out by doing some elaborate arm and leg stretches.
I stifled a giggle.
It’s important not to make eye contact in these situations. Flossie and I strolled on, pointedly looking ahead.
It reminded me of a previous walk where I stumbled across a man mid-squat.
I backed away in alarm, realising that he could not reposition himself quickly enough to save his modesty.
It was excruciatingly embarrassing because he was someone I regularly passed the time of day with.
We never spoke again.
It’s happened to me once when Flossie and I were on a particularly lengthy outing. There was no way I was going to make it home so, as we were in a remote wood and there was nobody around, I decided it was safe to go.
My problem was Flossie.
She was off lead and busy scampering around so I quickly snuck into some bushes and crouched down discreetly, thinking she’d be none the wiser.
Unfortunately, just as I was, how can I put it, ‘mid-flow’, she spotted me.
She had a glint in her eye — a worrying combination of curiosity and mischief.
I knew exactly what she was going to do and I couldn’t do a thing about it.
I braced.
Assuming we were playing a new, exciting game, Flossie sprinted towards me enthusiastically, at full speed.
I held steady.
Luckily, as she reached me, tail wagging madly, she did a last minute swerve.
There was relief all round.
As published in the Bath Chronicle, 27 March 2025
Suzy Pope is a certified copywriter and newspaper columnist specialising in pets, business and lifestyle. If you would like help with a writing project, please get in touch.
