When you’re a dog owner you find yourself having to deal with some unpleasant substances, namely, different types of poo. This is particularly the case if you have a dog like Flossie who likes to eat and roll in it.
However, the other week, it wasn’t Flossie who got caught up in a pooey situation.
It was me.
We were on our way back from a walk and I felt something land on my hand. I looked down to see an almost perfect dot of what looked like poo. I glanced up, expecting to see a bird, but I couldn’t spot anything. And it didn’t seem like your average bird deposit. The perfect circular shape looked more like it had dripped from somewhere.
I reached into my pocket for a tissue, now concerned that I was sporting an enormous bird poo on my head and it was trickling, without my knowledge, onto my hands. But I could feel nothing.
I wiped the unsavoury mark off my hand and put the tissue in a bin as we walked past. But as I looked down, I saw that my other hand had now been splattered. The hand that had reached into my pocket for the tissue.
This was most peculiar. However, on closer inspection, I realised that a bird had indeed left a generous deposit. Not only had it landed on my T-shirt, but it had dribbled down my jacket and across the pocket. This solved the mystery.
Now I felt rather self-conscious. As I mopped myself up with another tissue, I called out, “Bird poo!” to a woman across the road. She raised an eyebrow. I made sure a man walking past me got my “good side” as I scuttled home. Fortunately, we were not far.
Flossie looked on in amusement as I threw everything in the washing machine.
It certainly made a change that I was the one who needed cleaning up while she remained pristine.
As seen in the Bath Chronicle, 27 June 2024
Suzy Pope is a certified copywriter and newspaper columnist specialising in pets, business and lifestyle. If you would like help with a writing project, please get in touch.